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Elaborate Panhandling Story

(51 posts)

Started 9 months ago by GAM
Latest reply from onederfullone

GAM

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Yesterday while waiting for my bus on Market I was hit up by a woman with an elaborate story of a broken down car and her purse being stolen. As I watched her talk some mark into getting money from the ATM, I seem to recall her being described in a post a while back as using this same story repeatedly. A quick search didn't find it for me. Ring any bells for anyone?

Posted 9 months ago #
Rudy

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These two posts came to mind but I don't know if they bring up the same person you were approached by. If they do, then that person has been successfully panhandling for years. They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.

http://www.myballard.com/forum/topic.php?id=773
http://www.myballard.com/forum/topic.php?id=3787

Posted 9 months ago #
Nora Bell

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Easy mark that I am I have fallen for her tale once. But wow. I would never let anyone talk me into going to an ATM with them to get money out. That's just moronic.

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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Those may have been them, thanks, Rudy. My person had a variation of the "out of gas" story. I felt sorry for the person who bought the story. A fool and their money, etc. (I didn't feel sorry for the storyteller - it was too preposterous for sympathy for anything other than her authorship skills)

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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Nora - Sorry you were hit.

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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I should add - this is the bus stop by the BECU ATM - not a coincidence, I'm sure!

Posted 9 months ago #
phoo

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I remember when I was new to Seattle (there seems to be a special breed of "homeless" here), I was told a story about how this lady was stranded here by her boyfriend, she needed money to stay at a hostel until she got the money to get a bus ticket, etc. To add distress to the story, she told about how she fell asleep on the street one night and woke up to a guy with his junk hanging out and approaching her.

I bought the story, but my policy is not to give out money, which is how I found out it was likely all BS. I will buy her a night at the hostel, or buy her a bus ticket home, but I won't give cash. She got all morose on me and whined and cried about how I wouldn't help her and walked away as I was talking about figuring out how much the bus ticket would cost.

Posted 9 months ago #
Nora Bell

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Yeah I tend to be gullible. But to allow a total stranger to follow you to an ATM is just plain stupid and dangerous.
Since then I learned she is a known con artist among businesses on Ballard Ave. Not stranded, not homeless. Just feeding a drug habit.

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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My mom used to piss off the people who needed bus fare by giving them bus tickets. I love my mom.

Posted 9 months ago #
Ballard Sucks Now

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These poor, innocent, needy folks are just down on their luck temporarily, going through a little rough spot - remember, it could easily be you or your neighbor that needs money for gas, a bus ticket, or a quart of Thunderbird. We all need to show them we love them unconditionally and help them out in every way possible. So we're making Ballard a haven for them and their friends, as I'm sure you all want to show how compassionate and caring your community can be. Please welcome them with all with a smile, a hug, and fifty bucks from the nearest ATM. Thank you, Ballard, for opening your hearts and your wallets and your front yards. Please keep it up, you wonderful, caring, compassionate sucker- um, friends - we couldn't do it without your active support.

Posted 9 months ago #
phoo

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Something I will always remember was one day in Portland there was a family spanging. Mom, dad and a (roughly) 2 year old. As everywhere else, there are folks asking for money for one purpose ("I need 3 bucks to pay to get into the shelter tonight") when they want the money for another purpose. This was downtown, so it's nothing but constantly being hit up for money. But for some reason, I decided to go back and approach them. Again, I won't give money, but I asked if they wanted to go to McDonald's, generally expecting them to turn me down.

What has always struck me is that when they ordered at McDonald's, they were careful with my money. I gave them no limit, but they ordered just what they needed with no frills. In retrospect, I should have encouraged them to get extras to take with them. It always impressed me how respectful of my money they were.

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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Phoo-

The sad thing is, there are people out there with legitimate need. They are in the minority, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. And all the scammers make it that much harder for the legit folks to get assistance.

I don't try to sort it out. Instead I give to a number of social service agencies so I know all my support goes to the deserving and I get on with my privileged self. But to be able to help someone directly in a true time of need is immeasurably rewarding. How wonderful you were able to be a part of that.

Posted 9 months ago #
Pokerguy

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you gotta be one dumb fuck to fall for one of those stories

Posted 9 months ago #
Ballardemician

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characteristically inelegant, but +1 Pokerguy.

That said I got ganked one time in my adult life, 22 year's old got sold a greater than face value ticket for the NIT outside Madison Square Garden when the box office still had face value seats available. Lost 20 bucks because when the hustler told me "sold out" my want-to-go overruled my take a second to think.

Posted 9 months ago #
phoo

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GAM: My second introduction to a Seattle spanger was a dude on cap hill who was better dressed than I was.

It's entirely possible that the family was poor and hungry because the parents also did drugs, so you could still say it was enabling them just to feed them. But they were still hungry and were generally nice folks and respectful. I really don't see anything wrong with being nice to nice people. (But I still don't hand out cash.)

Here's another question: if someone was honest and said "Hello, I'd like a buck to buy a beer, please." Would you give it?

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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Nope. I'm not going to buy beer for a beggar. I worked too hard for my limited resources to fund their social life.

Posted 9 months ago #
damoncreed

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Received the same pitch last weekend near the BofA branch on Crown Hill. Said no, then observed her wandering through the Grocery Outlet parking lot continuing with the same story.

Posted 9 months ago #
chicone

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I got this at the Fred Meyer parking lot a couple months ago. It was obviously bogus and later I saw her as I was walking out. She was walking in with money someone had given her. If she needed a bus , don't know why she was coming in to buy something.

Posted 9 months ago #
phoo

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GAM: Then here's another question: Would you buy food for the same begggar, knowing that they were spending their other money on booze/drugs (and would do so whether you bought them food or not)?

Posted 9 months ago #
miss julie

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Saw a girl giving that story out in the parking lot of Safeway about a month ago.

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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Phoo: Nope. I may come off as a hard-ass, but I don't give anything to panhandlers, period. There's no way for me to vet them, so my charity is all directed to people that are better than me at figuring out who's truly deserving. But to your question: I have no interest in indirectly subsidizing their drug habit. If my buying someone a sandwich is what will enable them to buy drugs, I'm not interested.

My take is: if these stories are true, there are steps these folks can take before randomly approaching people at bus stops. In my person's case, that would include contacting the police to report the various crimes perpetrated against her. Now I would consider that: calling the cops for her on my cell. In fact, I've done that more than once.

I realize I run the (remote) risk of not helping someone who needs it. But in the big picture, I've helped more people by donating to charity and not blowing it on fakers. So I sleep at night. I wish I could do more, but I can live with making sure what I give does the maximum good, even if it means saying "no" to people's faces and never meeting the people I do help.

Posted 9 months ago #
BHS68

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Years ago my wife was hit up at a bus stop downtown on 4th Ave. "Somebody stole my purse, could I have a dollar for bus fare to get home, yada, yada, yada....." All my wife had was her bus pass and a five, so she gave the woman the five.

The next day, when she got home from work she was madder than hell and also a little hurt. The same woman was at the same bus stop; apparently she got her purse stolen for the second day in a row! There she was, asking for a dollar for bus fare to get home. My wife learned her lesson; I don't think she hands out money downtown anymore....

Posted 9 months ago #
chrisd

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I read something recently that resonataed with me. Each individual doesn't strike us the same way so give when you feel compelled or touched or moved to give. What the other person does with it is on them.

I don't want to become someone who has distanced myself to the point I don't see people in pain anymore because I'm too caught up in judging their choices.

Posted 9 months ago #
Curtis

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It's always hard for me to believe that panhandlers make any money, but then I'm equally amazed at those who will click on a link in an email from someone they don't know. I guess there really is a sucker born every minute. Just to be clear, I do donate to organizations, just not individuals...AND especially not individuals at freeway offramps! Chee-rist! What is all that about?!!

Posted 9 months ago #
Mondoman

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"spanging"? "ganked"? Dang me, I haven't read so many new-to-me-and-oh-so-delicious-sounding words in ages!

Posted 9 months ago #
GAM

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chrisd: Ultimately this is the best advice.

But...."buyer beware"

While folks are making their decisions I urge them to consider the "hoax factor". I would like to suggest that if more people didn't support the panhandlers (1) the "industry" would dry up and we'd have less of them to contend with and (2) those needing legitimate help would navigate to towards other options (police/shelters/social networks/etc.). Not all of these are available to all people in all situations, of course. There is no perfect solution, I'm afraid.

I consider my approach to panhandlers not as being distanced from people's pain so much as not buying into a lie. That may not suit everyone, but as long as people are taking the whole picture into consideration and making a heartfelt decision, I can't ask for more.

Posted 9 months ago #
Westcoastmom

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This woman was out and about on Ballard Ave last night. She was hustling women same sad story. I usually say sorry, and walk away went accosted by people like this.

Posted 9 months ago #
Curtis

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Curious chrisd...how much do you part with on an average foray into town? I work in downtown Seattle quite often, our shop is located near a newly opened methadone clinic, and I actively try to shop my Ballard community...I must get hit up a couple dozen times a day, at least. I don't really recognize too many sociopathic or narcissistic traits in myself, but I have to say, I haven't really heard many compelling, let alone believable, pitches when it comes to receiving handouts.

Posted 9 months ago #
teigyr

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They make a fair amount of money hence the panhandling instead of getting a job. There is/was (haven't seen him for a bit) person near our house that actually is sponsored and has a pimp, of sorts.

I love the idea of giving someone a bus ticket. I also wouldn't be adverse to giving a meal voucher that didn't have any kind of monetary value. It's unfortunate because a lot of people do need help but those aren't the aggressive people we tend to see out there.

In Calif there was this panhandler guy that worked the corner near where my dad's office was. My father saw him in the bank once cashing in his change and what this guy made was substantial and tax-free. I try to be aware of that now and have seen panhandlers go home in taxis or nicer cars than what I have.

Indeed, buyer beware.

Posted 9 months ago #
Pokerguy

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I tell them to fuck off, if they have a problem with that I'm more than happy to settle it.

You know what would fix all of this? If the city passed an ordinance like many other cities that made pan handling illegal. But THE HORROR!!!

Posted 9 months ago #
great idea

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next you're going to say "let's make it illegal to walk around with your belongings tied to the end of a stick" or "no more eating a can of beans down by the tracks"

where do you draw the line?

Posted 9 months ago #
Pokerguy

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I would be fine with that, whatever we can do to stamp out this homeless scourge.

And FWIW what they are already doing is illegal. Asking for money isn't, but conning people out of it very much is.

This article is a little old, but there is already a precedent set to outlaw panhandling.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-01-22-panhandle_N.htm

Posted 9 months ago #
chrisd

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Curtis- I am not in a situation where I am confronted by panhandlers all that often & I'm highly unlikely to give to the young & strong regardless of the story. But sometimes I walk by people who clearly have the deck stacked so high against them, I don't care what they do to kill the pain. The guy going thru garbage cans, the guy who can barely walk because he has destroyed his own health, the old & beaten down.

I've spent the last few years with the belief in not ever giving cash, saying no or just walking by, automatically. I think I've judged in moments I could have had compassion & reached out. I've had Phoo's experience of buying someone lunch & watching them order only what they needed. There are real people with huge struggles & I don't want to be so paranoid about the con artists, that I can't see anyone else.

I'm not particuarily naive or tenderhearted so it's unlikely to break me or encourage anyone new to move to Ballard...

Posted 9 months ago #
Barney Rubble

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I wonder what ever happened to the couple with the dog.... I haven't seen them in years.

Posted 9 months ago #
lifeisamazing

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Wow, interesting thread. I agree with the statement regarding your instincts. If they are lying or telling the truth doesn't matter, all you can do is do what feels right and if you decide to give them something don't expect to control what they do. I choose not to give money to people with stories. If someone needs something in particular, I may give that to them as phoo did.
I will however give money outright to particular folks that I've become familiar with regardless of them having addiction problems and having "brought it on themselves". That is my choice and I don't resent it because- I've spent enough time talking with them to feel that they have good hearts, they are sadly doing the best they can with what they have mentally, emotionally and physically to work with, what they do with the money I give them is none of my business once it becomes theirs and I'm very fortunate not to be in their shoes.
Regarding them taking advantage of "other sources" - There are many that don't feel they have that option because of various reasons; they have dogs (before you say they shouldn't - think for a minute) they have mental illness and can't get it together to figure that out or they are addicted and have not found the strength to kick it. As I said, I am very fortunate to not be in their shoes.

Posted 9 months ago #
Edog

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I let myself fall for one of those cons years ago when I lived out east. Even at the time I knew it was a scam. I figured if I let if happen this once, I am vaccinated, immunized
and allowed to be a cold hard bastard to any number of sob stories. Sure some of them might be true, but now consider myself divorced from any need to sort fiction from fact.

Posted 9 months ago #
onederfullone

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"I wonder what ever happened to the couple with the dog.... I haven't seen them in years."

Well, they are no longer a couple. The dog appeared to possess some potential, so maybe it ran like hell.

If you give to a panhandler, or a sob story, you promote panhandling and sob stories.

I'm divorced from it as well. I find it hard to even make eye contact with people I see that are clearly looking for a hand-out. When I smoked, if I put light to a cigarette, it was a signal like moth to a flame. 'hey dude, you got a spare smoke?'

"Nope, just twenty in this pack, cheap bastards"

Posted 9 months ago #
ballardmike

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"hey man... My sports team ditched me here. I just need a few mil to get back on my feet with a new arena."

Posted 9 months ago #
lifeisamazing

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Mike, that was hilariously clever!

Posted 9 months ago #
SEdholm

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She has tried the same story on me twice. I vowed the next time to tell her she has the worst luck in the world to continually get stranded here from Bellingham or wherever it is this time. I think I had read about here on here though so I didn't get caught.

Posted 9 months ago #
joelsey

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I think she may have tried this with me at Whole Foods in Roosevelt. Car ran out of gas, while she was pushing it someone stole her purse, needed money to get to Bellingham. I offered to take her to get gas and she said she wasn't comfortable getting in the truck with me. I offered to push her car to the gas station, and fill up the tank for her, and she repeated she just needed the money. I asked to see her car, and she walked away and called me a not-so-civil name.

Posted 9 months ago #
Ballard Ninja

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I ran into her yesterday on 24th, near the QFC. Exact same story, car out of gas and purse stolen. She should at least come up with a new story.

Posted 9 months ago #
gracie

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Weekend before last this woman came up to my car at Golden Gardens. She started in the whole car out of gas - but I cut her off right away & said "you already tried to hit me up before." She said "I've never been here" to which I replied "oh yes, you have. You were here last year & the police were called." She grumbled as she moved on. She's young, dresses nice - I wanted to say GET A JOB.

Posted 9 months ago #
onederfullone

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I ran into her yesterday on 24th, near the QFC. Exact same story, car out of gas and purse stolen. She should at least come up with a new story.

lol, really?

Why come up with a new story when this one works so well?

I bet the Obama campaign geniuses are asking themselves the same question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9y1b8F73Fo

...is the answer.

Posted 9 months ago #
jdballard

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Sad to say I fell for this Tuesday night on Ballard Ave, just outside the gelato place.

It did throw me off because she looks, dresses like a college student--hair up, earrings, necklace, clean clothes. Car broke down, purse stolen, just REALLY needs to get back to bellingham. She offered me to show her the broken down car.

I squirmed and finally gave her $5. She made a face like she was disgusted that was all I gave her, then walked off grumbling. I will certainly be looking for her. I'll probably try to get a video or pic of her.

Posted 9 months ago #
bambooboy

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She tried to hit me up last week, same story. I told her I would call 911 for her. I should have said wait right here while I call the cops....

Posted 8 months ago #
onederfullone

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What would/could/should the cops do?

Quit giving her money.

Then again, she could be Obama in disguise, pretty, no plan to get anywhere, with a damn good story.

Too bad most aren't wise to the similarities, or, just prefer to hand over money.

Posted 8 months ago #
Pokerguy

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jdballard- don't be to hard on yourself. There are a lot of other naive idiots like you out there who fall for this stuff. That is why these people flock here to peddle their wares, easy marks like you.

Posted 8 months ago #
chicone

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She hit me up with this at 17th and 56th yesterday. Same story. Offered to show me the car. She had just walked away from someone else who also declined.

Posted 8 months ago #
bambooboy

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oneder.... calling the cops was just a ruse. I wanted to see if she got panicy. I knew she was BS'ing me, I mean it was such a bull sh*t story.

Posted 8 months ago #
onederfullone

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Good to know, SPD should be very busy protecting us, not protecting stupid people from themselves...

Quit giving her money, please, and not just her, fwiw. It's very hard, impossible, to reach everyone who is in need, especially if we waste money on every clever story.

Point them to the resource of your choice, it's already paid for. Some of them will even fill out their ballot for them...;-/

Posted 8 months ago #