Dec 10th 1996 I lost my sweetie. I was 37. It sucked.
Some years I don't even realize the day came and went, others it is not great. Today is one of those.
Don't get me wrong, I am very fortunate to have a lovely life and am blessed with the many wonderful people in it but today is just not great.
Weird anniversary day, could use some good cheer.(18 posts)
Dec 10th 1996 I lost my sweetie. I was 37. It sucked.
sorry, loosing a sweetie, any day, ever, is not good.
I lost a buddy today in 86, not a sweetie, fwiw, but a good buddy.
Some of us survive to remember. It is what we do.
Wanna get together tonight? I've got hugs for you and some distracting games if you like. If you want someone around, but don't want to be social, I've got that covered with movies. :)
I am sorry for your loss. It seems you have lost too many loved ones in your time. Just as your avatar says, "Life is amazing." You are amazing too, my friend. Peace to you.
Just what I needed.
One, I'm sorry for your loss as well. "Some of us survive to remember. It is what we do." fits today perfectly for me. Thank you. It's kind of funny. The years that are harder are better than the years that it passes without notice. I think of him often but it is nice to think of him when the feelings are more charged somehow.
Phoo, thank you for your kind offer. Very generous. I'm covered for distractions tonight but it's so nice of you to send such an offer.
Ballardo, Balm for my soul as usual, my friend.
Sorry Life. I would say you could borrow Pickles for some big old hugs and purrs. I lost my brother and we were very close. It's been a few years but still he is on my mind. But at least now I can talk about him without tearing up. Now when I talk about him I bring up all his funny quirks and mis-sayings. Like one time - instead of cellphone he said celery phone. My other brother died a few years after him & I remember his great laugh - which was like our moms.
Cyber hug to you, life.
Wow. I've lost a lot of people but I've never lost a sibling. I'm so sorry you lost two. Thank god for the funny memories. They are the ones that get me through. It was nice to hear about your brothers.
Thank you for the thought about Pickles, they are sure helpful in times like these. This house is embarrassingly full of furry and feathered kids.
We had considered ourselves married for years but finally decided to have a wedding. We had different ideas of what kind of a wedding. He was a big biker guy and a man of few words. I gave him the (long) guest list and he looked it over very carefully then looked up and asked matter of factly "So, do I have to be there?"
I chased him around the house smacking him with my notebook. I can still hear his laughter as he ran trying unsuccessfully to avoid the blows.
Anytime, LIA. I've leaned on my friends a lot this year. It's time for me to pass it on.
Sorry about your loss Lifeisamazing, I lost my Mom 3 years ago this coming Wednesday. Some days are better than others but we get by with the love of friends and family. Take care.
Thank you rj. It really is nice to come back to my computer throughout this evening and read these thoughts.
I'm sorry about your mom. Isn't it weird how sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it seems they've been gone so long. I hope you have family to be with this Wednesday.
You're right about how we get by."with family and friends..." Also with the posts of strangers :)
It has made today much better.
Had tea with a lovely woman who is a good listener this evening. Not sad stories. Just silly ones. I even got to catch up on how her life is going in between my jabbering. Very nice time.
As sad as it is, I think it is important to remember those we have loved and lost (human and otherwise). I have a place in my garden that I consider my "sacred spot" and on those anniversaries I go to it and lay a flower there and sit and think about them. As long as we have those memories, those loved ones are still with us.
LIA - you brought a smile to my face this morning when I read about the wedding plans. He sounds like he was a pretty awesome guy - well must have been as he chose you.
Plant, what a lovely idea. I may adopt that. Hope you're hanging in there in your sad time.
Gracie, Thank you. What a nice thing to say. He was wonderful, he was hard to live with. Our relationship was as much a joy as it was difficult. Wait... doesn't that describe most of us? Most relationships? :)
Yep LIA, it does indeed describe most of us ;o) So sorry your time with someone like that was cut so short. Anniversary days are never easy - my father died over 40 years ago and to this day November 30th is a black-hearted day for me. Ditto the day my mother passed. My oldest brother just lost his battle with cancer in February of this year - this first set of holidays without his goofy, loving and oh so charming presence have been bleak for us all. But if I've learned anything its that they are never gone really - in weird and wonderful ways I've been able to know they are still with me - as I'm sure your sweetheart is with you. Keep your eyes open - you never know ;o)
Crownhiller, I am so sorry for your recent and your long lost loves.
Your brother sounds wonderful. You must have many wonderful funny memories (goofy is a great thing)
He is definitely with me. The most interesting time was a few months after he died. I was embroiled in a bizarre legal battle with his family that lasted 4 years. I had considered them my family, I was so blindsided. I was walking down the street hiding tears behind sunglasses and I said "Where are you, I haven't felt you in weeks and how could you have left this mess for me to deal with?!" Just then I felt his arm curl around my shoulders. Not a light touch that left me wondering if it was real but a solid arm around my shoulders. It was lovely and gave me enough strength to keep going regardless of the "mess".
Another reminder to make sure your wills, land deeds and trusts etc etc are iron clad. It's sad that it must be so.
LIA - my brother could be real difficult at times also. Always wanted to be the boss! But he had the biggest heart of gold around - just a big old teddy bear who tried to act like he wasn't at times. Miss him a lot. Now this is going to sound like I'm bonkers - when my mom died I was devastated. I was young & we had been very close. One day driving down the street & a street light went out. This happened a few times & came to realize I always thought of her afterwards. So I started saying "hi mom" when a street light went out. Same thing when my brother died. Lights hadn't gone out for quite some time & just this last week happened twice & felt my brother's presence. Thought I was bonkers but then a guy on TV (John Edwards) talking about communicating with the dead - and he said "have you ever gone down a street & a street light went out & you thought of someone who has passed?" That's the person communicating with you.
He also mentioned a feeling of cold. That happened when my niece died. I was the only one in her house after she died that would be very cold - I had to wear a sweatshirt over my clothes whenever I went there - the person next to me not cold.
So I truly believe you had his presence around you.
Not bonkers at all.
You have sure had a lot of loss.
Thank you for writing those stories. Lovely to read.
And I understand the "Hi Mom". I find that communicating back is very soothing.
Well, except when it comes to my second mom. Sometimes the language is not so nice. When I walk out of a store after again buying an embarrassing amount of cat food and hearing, yet again, "How many cats do you HAVE?!". I can hear her laughing and what I 'communicate' back isn't soothing at all, trust me.
One of the last things she said to me 4 years ago, in a very sweet voice, was "You will take care of my cats when I'm gone won't you"
Thanks mom, very funny.
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