Pennygirl - as Compass stated if it was at all possible this person would read this - there is NO WAY I would have posted it. She lives in a different part of the city, doesn't believe in blogs, forums (thinks they are to quote her "they are stupid")
Cate - "There is also a lot to be said for being a gracious guest in kindly accepting what is offered." Thank you, that hits it right on the spot.
If this person and I were BFF's, hung around each other all the time, someone I had known for a long, long time where I felt comfortable to say something then I probably would have said something about the wine and/or the hand in the wine. That wasn't the case in this particular situation.