If you really were sensitive to the pain of others that have suffered abuse at the hands of the Catholic church or anyone else, you would not bring up these images so casually. What little I have observed from you, BallardBear, tells me that you have some personal things to process. There is no shame in that. However, doing it in such a public forum creates an unpleasant first impression, as all we see is the nastiness and not the whole person behind it and their story. In the interest of being welcomed into our community, I suggest you refrain from spewing out this ugliness at the rest of us, if you are interested in a long term relationship with us on this forum.
I will think good thoughts for you, and I hope to come to a better emotional place soon. Hurting sucks. Please be sensitive to others that you hurt with your words.