1. 

   lifeisamazing
   

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   I can't help but wonder if we were all in the same room, would we be saying such mean things. We are a community. I joined because I wanted to connect. Would you say to someone to their face "Oh you think you are so superior?" No, you might disagree and have an adult conversation about whatever it is but Wow! I can't believe some of the stuff I read on here!
   I was talking with another My Ballard person - in person - today and I if it was just me or are some of the things said not kind and she said "Some people say downright mean things on there". I understand questions like "Why are so many people using strollers for older kids" and if it is truly in the form of a question for the purpose of better understanding our neighbors that's great. Even if you thought it was judgmental it was nothing compared to some of the mean retorts. On the other hand a lot of people just explained why they used them and she got back on and said she now better understood. THAT is what I think this forum is supposed to be. A way to connect. Not a way to rant and be unkind. Sigh.

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. 

   Mondoman
   

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   Yep, anonymity breeds contempt. Not to worry, though, we're losing online privacy quickly, so the anonymity will be gone in a few years.

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. 

   teigyr
   

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   I would be the same. I tend to not be as tactful as I could be sometimes but there is never intention to be mean. Learning means understanding, so I'm all about discussing.

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. 

   Cate
   

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   I have seen episodes of great cruelty on My Ballard on occasion, but much more often I have seen kindness and consideration. I think it might be a pretty accurate reflection of life. We focus on and remember the bad because it offends us while the positive is expected and thus unnoticed. People on this site have taught me how to get rid of moths and unstick an oven drawer and advised me on the best place to swim and many other things. It makes the Ballard Community seem smaller and more accessible, more like a neighborhood. But in any neighborhood there are crotchety people as well as gentle souls. When it gets too crotchety I take a break for a couple of weeks till it settles down.

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. 

   lyl
   

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   Lifeisamazing Have you been on here long? Let me assure you that what Allison does to people at Farmer's Market with their BIG children in strollers is give them dirty looks. Isn't that brave? Makes the parents with their CP child, or developmentally delayed child feel just swell. And the ones with the tall kids who seem older than they are? Yeah, that feels good too.

   Edit: Just exactly where does she come back and say she understood???? No where!!! She doesn't understand at all.

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. 

   allisonw
   

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   Nah, I am more of an eye-roller, and besides, I am about the LEAST anonymous MB poster.

   Anyway, it has all been explained. Tall children with unseen disabilities.

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. 

   teigyr
   

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   I'm not so sure all kids are CP or developmentally disabled. Seriously, I think both sides need to be seen here. Yes I think all of us non-child people know there are exceptions. And for those with exceptions, you HAVE to know that there are people who don't have exceptions and are just oblivious to the consequences of their actions.

   At the risk of getting insulted, I think it's safe to say laziness abounds sometimes. I think most of us, Allison included, know that there are situations that don't fall in the norm. I think she was talking about the norm that doesn't act like it's the norm.

   So just for the sake of understanding each other, we should know that your (royal your, not anyone specific) stroller blocking the aisle or whatever is your right and no matter what the size of the child, we ought to be understanding. Now, your understanding of us is what exactly? Or does it not matter because stroller trumps civility?

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. 

   plasticbags
   

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   While we're on the subject, can we establish some basic rules for the bulk nut aisle at Fred Meyer? Stand a few feet back while you're deciding so other people can reach the bins. If you forget to, don't ignore people saying "excuse me" to try to get by you. You aren't all deaf, I hear you having a conversation with someone else. It's never appropriate to use your elbows to move someone out of the way who is actively scooping. It's always a battle there.

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. 

   Chef Wahoo
   

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   While we're on the subject, can we establish some basic rules for the bulk nut aisle at Fred Meyer?

   Plasticbags, I never realized this until you said something! That damn aisle is always crowded, especially when the health-food dairy dude is stocking his section. They should take a few feet away from the beer/frozen food aisle - it's very wide, and never seems to have many people in it.

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. 

    Sunflower75
    

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    Cate - I like the way you explained it, and I think you really hit the nail on the head.

    That all being said, I do believe there is a level of crotchitiness and ugliness that lives online solely because of the anonymity. There are some really riduculous and downright awful and mean things that are said here, that I have rarely, if ever, encountered in real day to day live (absent the mentally insane.)

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. 

    oldguybc
    

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    Sometimes people just have to take a dump, be it in an outhouse or on a forum... I don't think that anyone sets out to hurt or offend anyone but sometimes another reader just take real offense to what they read and shoot something back.
    A few of the contributors really have some sort of an axe to grind and these are the ones that usually get the unkind responses, sometimes it is just a playful button pushing event, sometimes it gets waaaay too personal but read it for what it usually is, a collection of opinions. I don't have to repeat my definition of an opinion.
    I try to find the humor in life, hell at my age there is nothing more amusing than someone trying to sound glib or convincing about a fact or thought and usually unmasking themselves as broken ball peen hammers ;)) These people always enjoy their anonymity, we know them well by their avatar.
    We all have our favorites and not so favorites on this forum but I can truthfully say that if you keep one thought in mind you won't allow any trash to accumulate.
    "No one is completely useless, in anything one can serve as a bad example!"
    Prof. A. Schellenberg 1947

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. 

    lifeisamazing
    

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    Hi Lyl, Thank you for bringing that up - I didn't mean for it to sound like most of my experiences on this site are negative. I have had wonderful ones!! I found a playmate for my dog when I posted "anyone looking for a one on one playmate for their dog post" now my girl gets to run with a German Sheppard puppy and I get to chat with a terrific woman that comes with the pup :)
    Also, Hummingbird who posts in classified "if you love animals like I do. Limited offer" came to my house to photograph my dog. Oh my god, the pictures are beautiful. Truly. If you have a pet use her photography service!!!
    I also met 3 members for coffee and chatting that was really lovely.
    So I know that this is a wonderful community. I guess it just jolts me when I sit with my cup of tea to cyber connect with my neighbors and they are not nice to each other. But you are absolutely right and I haven't lost site of the fact that this is a terrific community!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. 

    hummingbird
    

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    Thank you so much for the kind words of support lifeisamazing :) "Tock" is one of the gentlest most affectionate, gorgeous shepherds I have ever seen and it is a joy to have met her!! And you too ;) Its such a great feeling when someone is so pleased with their photos and gives such positive feedback, thank YOU.

    I have been reading through this post as the title caught my eye, not knowing it would be you that had posted it! But I have to say I agree that I doubt the majority would behave so negatively eye to eye, and would hope not. As you and many have said, there are so very many good aspects of this neighborhood forum and for the most part there are far more civil comments/posts than not, but yes there are the exceptions that can get downright cruel or offensive. Myself, I tend to have a sarcastic sense of humor and often have to gauge myself lest I go too far and risk being misunderstood or even offensive. When I see arguments or provocatively mean threads here I refrain from comment and stop reading. This forum is for the most part a lighter part of the day when online as well as a place to meet some very cool people in the hood, I've met several (including you) and am so thankful to get to know them better.

    Glad you posted this thread, I'm sure it is always good for all to have some idea of how they present and personally I always like to "self evaluate" as I feel it important in this journey for growth. Thanks :)

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. 

    Alonzo Neighbor
    

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    It was just a year ago when many of us began meeting at several different venues for food, beverages and conversation with a bit of fire pit, birthday cheer and 70's theme thrown in for good measure. I am happy to say that I remain in touch with many of those fine people and consider several of them good friends. It has been my experience that folks are not always who they appear online. The personal seems to soften the walls people build around themselves.

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. 

    Jonathan Pryce
    

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    Alonzo Neighbor + 1.

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. 

    Streaker Troll
    

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    "Alonzo Neighbor + 1."

    Ditto. No one is exactly how you perceive them to be online when you actually meet them in person.

    Posted 2 years ago #
17. 

    JerseyGirl
    

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    On several occasions, people in this forum have been very kind to me. That kindness eclipses any little episodes of snark.

    Posted 2 years ago #
18. 

    Elliott
    

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    I think at this point, it'd be Alonzo Neighbor + 3! I remember very clearly shyly heading down to GG for beverages and conversations at GG. Remember how iplod! so kindly made name tags so that we could identify one another? I left the event feeling happy for meeting some very nice and special people. I also loved getting together to celebrate dear Nora's birthday at Molly's! The evening was very sweet given the free food, the opportunity to toast our sweet NB, and enjoying the opportunity for some of us to meet in person after only knowing one another online. And then bikerchick extended her very generous invitation to meet at her house for a 70's party. Wow! We celebrated one very cool party! together! I appreciate so much the friends I've made through this blog. I especially appreciate the friendships I've made with A, K, & P. And it's time for us to get together again, right?

    Posted 2 years ago #
19. 

    nwcitizen
    

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    The problem with blogs and email is the other person cannot see the twinkle in your eye or the smile when you post the snark. Emoticons help but they are just not the same as face to face, two-way conversation.

    Posted 2 years ago #
20. 

    hummingbird
    

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    Okay. I want to go to these fun haps! Starting with 'scrabble night'!!! I too have met some beautiful people through this board, most through business BUT some have remained a part of my life :) Seattle isn't always the warmest of places to live, this forum has changed ALOT of that!

    Posted 2 years ago #
21. 

    Oly
    

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    What a Kumbya moment, next thing we will have unicorns jumping over a rainbow.

    Posted 2 years ago #
22. 

    Cate
    

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    Oly, we already had the unicorns jumping over rainbows. That was weeks ago, with Edog. We have moved on, get with the program. :) (emoticom designating the intended humor and barely concealed grin accompanying this post)

    Posted 2 years ago #
23. 

    teigyr
    

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    Ah, dear departed Maggie. I wonder where she frolics now?

    Posted 2 years ago #
24. 

    oldguybc
    

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    I think she sleeps with the fish, like Luca Brasi...

    Posted 2 years ago #
25. 

    Streaker Troll
    

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    "Okay. I want to go to these fun haps! Starting with 'scrabble night'!!!"

    hummingbird... As a fellow photographer, If we ever end up at the same Scrabble night we'll have to talk photography shop.

    Posted 2 years ago #
26. 

    iPlod
    

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    Alonzo Neighbor + 1 says Jonathan Pryce.

    Yah guy, but you were the instigator for the start of all that & have left many of us richer for your effort.

    Keep up your suggestions, you never know when another one will turn out to be even better.

    Posted 2 years ago #
27. 

    stopgo
    

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    I think it would go pretty well. Until I got sick of being complimented and adored.

    Posted 2 years ago #
28. 

    pennygirl
    

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    Agree! Elliott and iPlod and Alonzo +4!

    70's night was excellent :-)

    Posted 2 years ago #
29. 

    pennygirl
    

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    Even more excellent! StopGo!

    Posted 2 years ago #
30. 

    enatai70
    

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    The times when I find myself probably coming off sounding like a butt (and I really try to THINK before I type) is when threads seem to operate in a vacuum where common sense does not exist. Like, you really have to use your noggin' sometimes to compose some more empathetic than HELLO, MC FLY. Our society seems to have steered away from pragmatism as a virtue. I would point out some choice threads as examples, but. . .

    Posted 2 years ago #
31. 

    pennygirl
    

    online

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    enatai70...

    Why don't you point them out? I'm getting a little weary today of people saying something and then stopping short :-)

    Posted 2 years ago #
32. 

    teigyr
    

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    stopgo :)

    Posted 2 years ago #
33. 

    Streaker Troll
    

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    This is only the second or third time that stopgo has broken his insisted upon promise to not come back any time soon. He just can't stay away.

    Posted 2 years ago #
34. 

    iPlod
    

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    First you have to show up to be complimented or adored, you shy faceless wonder.

    Posted 2 years ago #
35. 

    pennygirl
    

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    iPlod...

    This is where I come in and translate 'stopgo' speak again...

    "I think it would go pretty well. Until I got sick of being complimented and adored."

    He's using 'I' in the abstract form.

    Posted 2 years ago #
36. 

    teigyr
    

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    If Klingon can be a recognized language, I don't now why StopGo-Speak can't be one also.

    Posted 2 years ago #
37. 

    iPlod
    

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    Why would such a superior being need "translating"?

    OOH! Never mind, I get it, he's god.

    gods always need "translating".

    Posted 2 years ago #
38. 

    pennygirl
    

    online

    Member

    iPlod...

    Get off the donkey. I used to translate stopgo as a hobby because no-one seemed to be able to comprehend what he was saying. Jesus...what is wrong with this forum tonight???!!!

    Posted 2 years ago #
39. 

    iPlod
    

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    pennygirl!

    Have some reverence, we're talking about god here!

    Posted 2 years ago #
40. 

    pennygirl
    

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    Donkey is more of a Jesus thing. In fact, if I look back at my post, I referred to you as Jesus :-)

    Posted 2 years ago #
41. 

    iPlod
    

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    The idea... being the son of stopgo...threw up in my mouth a little...

    Posted 2 years ago #
42. 

    pennygirl
    

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    But that would mean that you and you alone view stopgo as God....

    Posted 2 years ago #
43. 

    iPlod
    

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    No, it just means I threw up in my mouth a little.

    Posted 2 years ago #
44. 

    pennygirl
    

    online

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    Swill with some water then. But you already knew that :-)

    Posted 2 years ago #
45. 

    iPlod
    

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    Thanks, actually I think I'll water it with some swill.

    Gotta go, the gophers are grunting.

    Posted 2 years ago #
46. 

    SmartsyArtsy
    

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    I agree that it is time for another outing! Face to face partying is much preferred to online which I read half asleep. Usually I'm much more awake at get-togethers!

    Posted 2 years ago #
47. 

    teigyr
    

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    wow, that sounds like a euphemism if ever there was one. Iplod, I mean.

    Or maybe it's CODE!

    Posted 2 years ago #
48. 

    Anonymous
    

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    I think most internet forums where people can post anonymously attract people with no-life and low self-esteem who want to be mean to make themselves feel better about themselves. And I imagine they are like that in person too - just with more subtlty (being subtle ... not sure how to spell that ...).

    So yeah, there are some messed up bozos on this forum, but I've made more than a couple real-life friends from this forum too. I do think it is reflective of the real world, it's just in some ways more honest because people aren't so passive or subtle so if they're a real jerk it's right out there on the table and there's no guessing.

    I'm just bummed I moved before getting to meet Streaker Troll. I think we could've been buddies.

    Posted 2 years ago #
49. 

    Streaker Troll
    

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    ballardmama... Good point. In person (most) people feel the need to stick to social norms and not be a complete a-hole by speaking everything that's on their mind. Anyone who breaks those norms risks getting pushed out of social circles, which isn't something that people tend to want.

    And it is too bad that you moved so soon, would have liked to have met you too. But from the sound of it you're enjoying it out there in the boondocks ;)

    Posted 2 years ago #
50. 

    Anonymous
    

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    S.T. - totally enjoying it out here in the boondocks! Come visit sometimes if you want to ride horses and tromp around in the woods!

    Actually, I only moved "so soon" after you showed up on the forum. I was trying to move out of the city for about four years before we finally did!

    Posted 2 years ago #
51. 

    Streaker Troll
    

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    Well at least you're enjoying it BM. You and iPlod both baled out to the country. Wonder if anyone else will at some point.

    Posted 2 years ago #
52. 

    Anonymous
    

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    iPlod baled out to the country too? I had no idea. Where did he go?

    I doubt most people will. All my old friends in Ballard love living in the city too much and the stuff that doesn't bother me out here (long commute on Sound Transit, really loud frogs at night, really loud birds first thing in the a.m., lots of mud, lots of people in dirty farms clothes talking about horses, cows & gardens, no trendy boutiques, no hipster bars or pubs, and only one sushi bar, etc) would bother them. We are very fashion bereft out here. Which is fine for me because I am fashion bereft. But there really is so much more in Ballard for my friends back there that they would miss too much out here - no matter how bad the crime gets in town.

    Posted 2 years ago #
53. 

    iPlod
    

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    He bailed to a little spot in between Auburn & Enumclaw.
    No baling for him though, there's plenty of local hay around here already baled.

    Fairly accurate description of what it's like around here too, ballardmama. :)

    Posted 2 years ago #
54. 

    Elizabeth of York
    

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    You two! It sounds as though you both live on farmsteads! I, the Consort, wish to take you both on as agricultural advisors. You shall work for the betterment of my kingdom!

    Posted 2 years ago #

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