Ballard’s wizard pub and wand shop opening soon

Ballard’s whimsical wand shop and wizard pub is getting closer to opening.

The Splintered Wand is the creation of Geoffrey Thaddeus Constantine Balch and Andrea Ravnholm (AKA, Widow Balch). It will be a place of magic and wizardry for all ages — a wand shop upstairs, and the pub downstairs.

The wand shop is on the second floor, and will be open seven days a week, from 11am to midnight. Wandmakers will use each customer’s astrology to select one of 13 North American wooden wands, made by artists in Maine. The wand core itself will be chosen by the customer, who will be asked to cast a spell over cauldrons of “alabastron” — the stuff of magic.

The downstairs bar (21+) is a sight to behold, with ancient rhododendron branches standing guard before a copper-lined, glowing onyx countertop. Near the bar is a seating area with black walnut benches, across from a stand of 35-year-old living trees planted in the floor.

On the third floor will be the “Euphorium”, a private events space filled with magical items such as skeletal fairies encased in glass (photo above) and an ornately carved fireplace. There will be two long tables in the room, which Geoffrey says will be for meetings, parties, or special VIP guests — “playtrons”, as he describes.

On one end of the Euphorium is a glass room with colorful hanging lanterns, which will be perfect for Tarot readings, Geoffrey says.

There will be lunch and dinner served at The Splintered Wand, with a decidedly British flare: think pasties, Yorkshire pudding, and Shepherd’s Pie.

The Splintered Wand will likely be open before the end of the year, pending some inspections and permitting.

We’ll update with more information when we know more…


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sam611
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sam611

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Lizzy the Lezzy
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Lizzy the Lezzy

I’m all for a nice bar but I draw the line at demon worship. I won’t be surprised to see this place sink into the earth like that house in “Carrie.”

Not Today Satan
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Not Today Satan

It is absolutely disgusting. We know exactly what kind of activities occultists like this guy and Jeff Epstein get up to behind closed doors. The world is waking up!

RegularJoe
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RegularJoe

What is this kindergarten? We’re making fun of someone’s imaginary friends now?

Not Today Satan
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Not Today Satan

Some pastors do say that “imaginary friends” may be unclean spiritual beings aka demons disrupting the lives of the unsuspecting, so yes? When imaginary friends carry on past early childhood it is an indicator of schizophrenia. In some cultures schizophrenia is correlated to demonic possession. If Baal/Moloch is your “imaginary friend” and you are abusing living beings in order to gain its favor, you deserve to GET REKT!

Paintking
Member
Paintking

Ya know, I was just saying to myself the other day I need a new wand. Although, 1 might just come in handy to rid ourselves of the MOB syndrome/residue.

Bark More Wag Less
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Bark More Wag Less

A city of boys pretending to be men.

Not Today Satan
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Not Today Satan

This guy claims to be hundreds of years of old. He’s not pretending to be a man. He is pretending to be something far more evil.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

You know who else was into the occult and LARPed like they were a demi-god? Jefferey Epstein!!!!!

Take a look at the fake name owner. Would you trust a “man” like that alone in a room with a child?

These wands WILL be used in sacrificial rituals by idiots.

Mr Obvious
Member
Mr Obvious

Grasping at straws today is about all you’re qualified to do huh?

Not Today Satan
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Not Today Satan

Not sure that I understand your comment.

Extreme occultists practice forms of ‘magick’ that are repulsive. There is a reason practitioners of witchcraft have been banished over and over again throughout history and geography. It is not because they talk to crows. It is because of their Epstein-like behavior. The acts they engage in when they believe no one knows are beyond vile. Look at this guys website and then comment again. He claims to be descended from practitioners that were driven out of English society. He conveniently does not mention that it was because of the disgusting, evil ways in which they worshiped pagan deities. People did not get pissed off enough to push them out because they were dancing around maypoles. Do some real research. I am not the only person getting True Detective: Season 1 vibes from this creep show and his ‘partner’.

Mr Obvious
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Mr Obvious

Why don’t you just go down there and talk to the guy instead of spewing ignorance about a guy you’ve never met?

Not Today Satan
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Not Today Satan

wHy DoN’T YoU jUsT gO HaNg OuT wItH A bAaL/mOloCH WoRsHiPpInG cLoWn? Ur JUST iGnOrANt Read his website and read his interview with geekwire. Then do some research into the magickal lineage he claims to stem from. The clown setting this place up is an extreme occultist. You don’t think it is even a little tinsy tiny itty bitty bit fishy that he is trying to attract children to his bar? Do some real research on magick. The things these people do behind closed doors ARE disgusting. I do not need to shake hands with some LARPing manlet to understand that ritual sacrifice is evil in any and all forms. Epstein was an evil occultist and I never had to meet him to know that. I bet the owner of this place would have felt right at home in the townhouse with its hallway of eyeballs or sitting inside inside the temple with statues of sulfur-crested cockatoos. Crowley had some extreme takes on the power to be gained from magickal rituals as well. I do not have to take part in some Thelema blood orgy to know that either. You don’t LARP as an undying being to the extreme that… Read more »

Mr Obvious
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Mr Obvious

You must be off you’re meds dude. Maybe the internet isn’t the place for you and your tin foil hat.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

Lol what an insane stance to condemn me to a chemical lobotomy for sharing truth. I sure hope you never hold a position of power over anyone. Not one single thing I have written is tinfoil hat conspiracy. Sadyr, Thelema, Epstein’s Island temple and the contents of his NYC townhouse all exist and are all related to occult practices, which this business owner seeks to promote albeit through the guise of a “kid-friendly bar”. Branch is also clearly a manlet. That is not tinfoil hat theory either. Look at its head to chest to arm ratio in any picture of it. No way this creep is over 5’6″. The ‘female’ partner also claims to be talking to crows in the geekwire article. That IS a sadyr ritual….but I guess living in Ballard never made you curious about old norse religious practices? You’d rather lobotomize the world than learn even a little bit about Norse history? Sadyr was banned for a reason. The opposite of a conspiracy theorist is a coincidence theorist. You have to be low IQ to bumble through life thinking nothing at all is interconnected and everything just happens completely randomly. High IQ is the ability to recognize… Read more »

SurlyAF
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SurlyAF

Not Today Satan, you are obviously mentally ill and bad at trolling. The rest of us here know you’ll be gone soon like the previous bad trolls, but remember that you have to live with yourself and your bad decisions the rest of your life.

elenchos2
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elenchos2

You remind me of Bill Frist, making diagnoses from a computer.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

The bad decision of raising public awareness about occult practices and the connection to child abuse? Yea, I think I’ll be just fine.

peckerwood
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peckerwood

This space will be again available to lease in six months, tops.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

Something tells me that following the money on this will lead to a very strange place

Zaruthustran
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Zaruthustran

I see someone’s already getting into a little fantasy roleplaying, playing the part of the fanatical moral panic alarmist / conspiracy theorist. I love it! It’s not easy to play the role of the finger-wagging stooge, so bravo for stepping up.

I’m totally up for a new place with more than a little character and whimsy. Huzzah for indie business, entrepreneurship, and a well-executed creative vision! Sounds like a hoot.

Kwnofrg ibwhs!

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

Satanists also delight in the inversion of all things good. Your praise of Zoroastrianism is evidence enough of the direction your moral compass points. Hopefully the reference is not lost on the casual reader of this thread. I have no problem being associated with the satanic panic. Research the Franklin Scandal and call me a conspiracy theorist again. Here is the description of journalist Nick Bryant’s book on the subject: “A chilling exposé of corporate corruption and government cover-ups, this account of a nationwide child-trafficking and pedophilia ring in the United States tells a sordid tale of corruption in high places. The scandal originally surfaced during an investigation into Omaha, Nebraska’s failed Franklin Federal Credit Union that went beyond the Midwest, ultimately to Washington, DC. Implicating businessmen, senators, major media corporations, the CIA, and even the venerable Boys Town organization, this extensively researched report includes firsthand interviews with key witnesses and explores a controversy that has received scant media attention.” I have not written about a single “conspiracy”. Every single thing I have written is documented fact.

Freja
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Freja

I’m ordering a special wand to point at you.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

Get REKT

Freja
Member
Freja

Video games are the devil’s playpen. REPENT!

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

lulwut

Paintkong
Member
Paintkong

Dude you’ve lost it. Take off the tinfoil hat and embrace the diversity of Ballard. Maybe go down there and just talk to the guy, instead of spewing your ignorance.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

So….you’re totally cool with satanic ritual abuse standing behind the banner of diversity? What a chill bro you are mannnnnn. How open minded dudddde

Paintkong
Member
Paintkong

I’m totally cool with different religious beliefs, yes. That’s one of the founding principles of the country.

Can you tell me what law this small business has broken? Anything illegal going on? If not, keep your tinfoil hat conspiracy theories to the obscure alt-right message boards from which they sprang.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

You seem like a really chill bro. Sacrificing living beings doesn’t even phase you one bit? It is hilarious that you think this country was founded on the wholesale acceptance of satanic ritual abuse. I do not think I have ever met someone that would publicly take the stance that they embrace SRA as a practice that falls under religious freedom. Female genital mutilation is a religious practice is some areas around the globe, but it IS ILLEGAL in the USA. You totally chill with that too my most open-minded broooo? Clearly you have not bothered to read up on the Franklin Scandal or the current Epstein case. Calling me alt-right? Is anyone who disagrees with you alt-right? Is the alt-right in the room with you right now? Are the right wing death squads knocking at your door right now as we speak? Talk about a conspiracy theory!

Ballard By Boat
Member
Ballard By Boat

I can’t wait to go have a drink at their bar while I laugh at your ‘satanic panic’. You fundamental loonies are the best to mock!

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

The dismissal of the satanic panic in the late 80s and 90s is what has allowed these practices to continue. Look up some of the cases I have mentioned. These are not conspiracy. Theses are hard facts. Michael Aquino founded the Temple of Set. He was also involved in the child abuse cases at the Presidio military base pre-school. At least four children contracted Chlamydia while attending the child care center…but keep on acting like this evil is not real. You’re just such a silly goose. Have fun mocking the children forced to endure that shit. I hope your boat gets rocked by the truth.

RegularJoe
Member
RegularJoe

Oh man the comments on this are hilarious! More fun to read than the article 🤣

peckerwood
Member
peckerwood

The comments used to be the best part of MyBallard. Now, it’s more hit and miss. RIP Uncle Buck.

dietervonwolfhausen
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dietervonwolfhausen

i created an account just to upvote this comment. hilarious

jim bob
Member
jim bob

Hope they have barred windows and a sturdy door or the homeless tweakers are going to smash and grab

VeganBiker
Member
VeganBiker

Not to day Satan – you are truly a troubled person. You are way off track and possibly you have been immersed in conspiracy theories for a while. There is no evidence that these people are evil or practice anything bad towards people. What you are talking about is all a big fantasy. There is no devil and there is no god. It is all a man made myth. It is all made up to suppress the scared masses. None of this matters when you are dead. Nothing really maters in life. Think about it. Who gives a dam what you do. So here we are with a couple of people that are living in a fantasy world that they want to live in and if you check there are a lot of other people out there that like this sort of thing, as in the popularity of the Harry Potter series and other magical tales. It is all made up in the human imagination. There IS NOT DEVIL OR HEAVEN OR HELL. WE, humans, made all that up. So come down to earth and let these folks have a bit of fun and chill out. I hope they have… Read more »

El Grunion
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El Grunion

tldr

Boring Opinions
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Boring Opinions

You and Not Today are two sides of the same coin.

VeganBiker
Member
VeganBiker

Boring Opinions – I agree and ask what coin are you on?

elenchos2
Member
elenchos2

Says the person who comes to the forum and is consistently proven they don’t know what they’re talking about. Why don’t you log off and go play with the great-grandkids.

VeganBiker
Member
VeganBiker

elenchos2 – take a look in your mirror before you speak!

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

I don’t buy into your woo woo version of reality and clearly you don’t either. Why don’t you power of positive thinking Ghislaine Maxwell into prison if you actually think that is real?

Which one of the things did I mention that was a conspiracy? Michael Aquino and the Presidio pre-school scandal? Jefferey Epstein and his occult temple? The Franklin Scandal? The Norse effort to drive out practitioners of sadyr? Sadly these events do exist in reality, not fantasy. Do some research based in reality you dirty hippy

YesTodaySatan
Member
YesTodaySatan

This meets with my approval. I shall marshal my legions and descend upon the establishment for the enjoyment of pints, pies and, oh yes, some light necromancy.

Not Today Satan
Member
Not Today Satan

Yea, I figured ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lizzy the Lezzy
Member
Lizzy the Lezzy

Satan’s gonna do what Satan’s gonna do. I choose to steer clear!